BROWNIES!!!!!
FROM HELL!
OK # 1 thing I have
missed from my old life (being a carefree doughnut, NORMAL BREAD, cake, brownie
eating machine) is the baked goods. Especially cake but seeing as I was running
low on all the necessary flours, I found a brownie recipe that called for oatmeal
flour.
Easy enough right? I
have a huge bucket full of certified GF oats, so the recipe called for 2 cups
of oatmeal to put in a food processor and make it into a semi fine flour.
Check! I am finding out that as I go on most GF baked good, dough’s are very
VERY thick. And the mixture of the brownie.... well let’s say this in the most
polite way I can harness to come out of my tongue.... Well here is what it
looked like.... I work with a lot of livestock.... it looks like what comes out
of a cow.... and no not that delicious milk.... yeah.... that stuff.... its
brown and gooey.... ok enough pictures being imaged up.
So I smooth it all out
into a spring pan, it’s looking nice, and the smell of the chocolate is
heavenly wafting through the house making me and my non GF roommates’ ravenous
chocolate fiends. After 3o min I pull it out and I’m not going to lie. At this
point I looked at it and thought I was God's gift to the GF baking world....
and then I let it cool. It sat there all nice and scrumptious looking, then I
take my knife.... imagine a white bill Cosby ( from “Cosby Himself”, the part
where he's cutting the chocolate cake for the kids) and I’m standing there with
the knife over the brownie, holding it with such care and anticipation.
Enter
my Cosby face, looking at the nicely sliced pie shape brownie, as though it
were the cutest baby ever! I get my fork and nicely, eagerly cut a piece off
for me and I place it in my mouth and chew for 2 seconds and then.... nope....i
think to myself ... This crap cant stay in here... its not worth it.
DISASTER! THIS RECIPIE
IS A FAILURE.....
my roommates kept coming
over and trying it one by one, completely disregarding my warnings of potential
poison and death, and they all take a big bite, and then realize I probably
poisoned them. And it ended up in the garbage. Then they all look at me like
Hillie Holbrook from the help, when Minnie tells her to "eat my
shit"... ha-ha, they probably thought I put some in there too!
Needless to say, my
brownie adventure was in fact an adventure but, like a true revolution we can’t
let these "crappy" recipes be spread around. My fellow Gluten
Intolerants we are entitled to GOOD TASTING GLUTEN FREE FOOD
Keep Fighting- Topher
No comments:
Post a Comment